only angels know
by valxra
Summary: Reborn into an unfavorable circumstance, Octavia grows to protect; to become strong; to become a shield. [SI/OC]
1. one

_i._

**part one**_  
__:-:-: _theme; _maps _by _maroon 5 :-:-:_

* * *

He kept hitting the cage; again and again. Always sure this time will be the time it breaks. It never does.

All she does is watch him, already resigned to whatever fate awaits them. Maybe if they had like minds, she would also be fighting and crying to be set free. She, however, was nothing like him… Or any of the other children that were confined to these cages, really.

She had died what felt like a second ago, only to wake up in an infant's body. It had been five years since then, and she still felt off. As if she was in a daze, almost. The only time she didn't feel like that was when the scientists forced her to participate in their tests and experiments. During those moments, she was always wide awake and alert.

A long time ago, her new parents had abandoned her and her new twin brother to a strange facility. She still didn't understand their end goal, but so far, she knew that they were experimenting on humans. Children to be exact.

Each child had something special about them, whether it be good or bad would vary depending on the result of the experimentation. Failures looked heavily scarred or disfigured. Successes looked fairly normal, unless their special ability tweaked their features somewhat (talons instead of fingertips, serpent's eyes, gills in the side of their neck…)

"Micah," Her voice was soft and a soothing thing, "You're scaring them."

"I don't care, O!" Came the five-year-old's whine. "I don't wanna do it anymore! Let me out!"

Octavia (a name she had in her last life, and had decided to keep in this one) quietly looked around at the other scared and tired children that surrounded them. They were huddled in the back of their cages, anxiously looking from Micah to the room's entrance.

"You're just going to make things worse. How many times do I have to tell you, Micah?"

The black-haired boy gave one final shove to his cage before screaming in frustration, "It's not fair! I don't like it here! They're mean and scary!" He began to cry, his brown eyes closing as he curled into himself.

"I know… I know." All she could do was watch her brother from across the room, unable to reach out and comfort him like she wanted. Not that she could do much moving anyway; her body was still sore from her last meeting with the scientists. She felt heavy and her chestnut brown hair stuck to her sweaty form.

"It won't be like this forever," She continued. Her green-gray eyes were beginning to grow heavy, and eventually, they finally slipped shut.

"Not for you maybe," Micah replied quietly, his words going unnoticed by the now slumbering Octavia. "You're their favorite…" He sniffed, staring up through the holes in his cage and at the ceiling in the dark room.

All they wanted was to be free. They'd never felt the sun, never seen flowers open. The moon was akin to a myth, as were the stars in the sky. All these children knew were their cages and the white-coated men that tormented them, even in their sleep.

* * *

**author's note: **so this is something i've been working on for awhile. i should be focusing on my other stories, but my writing drive hasn't been the best so i feel like i need to post some new content to get myself going again. this story is gonna start off a little slow in the form of drabbles, but will maybe slowly shift into actual _lengthy _chapters. the original "prologue" was actually hitting past 10k words, but i decided that was pretty loaded for a "prologue" so i decided to split it up. i'm not sure how big the maximum ride fandom is, but i hope you guys enjoy what i have planned!


	2. two

_ii._

**part two**_  
__:-:-: _theme; _maps _by _maroon 5 :-:-:_

* * *

The next time Octavia wakes, she is strapped down to a table on her stomach. The pain hits her immediately and she _screams_.

"Stop! Stop!" She yells, trying to break out of her bonds. The pain in her back is _excruciating_, and she wonders if they bothered to give her a numbing agent at all, or if her body ate through it.

"Subject is awake," a bland voice announces. "Ignore her screams, we're almost finished here."

"It hurts! It _hurts_!"

Her cries are ignored while the pain only increases. Octavia tries to look over her shoulder and at what they're doing to her body. Her vision begins to fade before she gets a clear look, but she swears she sees smooth gray feathers.

* * *

"You have wings!" Micah exclaimed when he saw her again.

"I.. do?" She asked sluggishly, unable to move from where she was lying on her stomach. The pain was too much, and her whole body felt like it was stinging. Kind of like when your foot is asleep and it goes from blissful numbness to pins-and-needles.

Her whole body felt different, as if things had been shifted around inside of her. There was also a weight on her back that hadn't been there before… She knew that she wasn't normal; that the scientists here had changed something about her. It was never apparent before like this, however. She could only tell with small things. Like how her sight and hearing were much more powerful than an average human's, or how she could see in the dark without a problem. She was faster, _stronger_, but never had her body felt so _wrong_.

Her green-gray eyes sting, and in a quiet voice she asks her brother, "Am I a monster...?"

"No! No! Never _ever _could you be!" Micah immediately replied, sounding scandalized to even be asked the question. Octavia almost smiled at that observation, because Micah probably didn't even know what that word meant. When he spoke again, his voice was much more calm, and she could feel his eyes on her wings. "If anything… you're an angel…"

She widened her eyes and turned her head to look at him, even though her body begged her not to. Micah had a watery smile on his face. When he met her eyes, she could feel her heart get caught in her throat.

Micah laughed softly, "Are you going to save me?"

Octavia whips her head away, her face one of shock before it crumbles entirely. Burying her head into the cold slab of her cage, she cries. "I will try, little one."


	3. three

_iii._

**part three**_  
:-:-: _theme; _maps _by _maroon 5 :-:-:_

* * *

Life goes on. Day in and day out, Octavia and many other children are experimented and tested on. However, besides torture, training has also been added to her schedule. Due to her new wings, the whitecoats are teaching her how to use them… mainly to see if they're usable at all. The results must have been satisfactory, because they haven't ripped them off of her yet.

Other than physical experimentation, Octavia can clearly see that the whitecoats have taken to mental torture as well. It wasn't something she had picked up on right away, but it became all too apparent when the children around her started losing their minds. Micah's words from before echoed back to her, and she knew now why he had sounded so delusional.

'How unlucky they are,' She would think, staring at a young boy who was no older than five. His eyes were dull, and though she could see his chest move up and down, Octavia knew he was already dead on the inside. 'If they had a mind like mine; would things be better… or worse?'

This helpless feeling never went away, not until she was drugged beyond belief or so tired she couldn't even move. When she fought back, she would be punished. She was too weak to break these chains and free herself. These facts scared her. She was terrified, because this couldn't be her life, right? Someone would come save her, right?

'If I can't save myself,' She looks to Micah, 'How can I save them?'

* * *

When Octavia turns seven, a part of her is extremely strong and hard— the other part is weak and soft. The whitecoats sense it, and have been working to break that weak side of her.

During the two years, they stopped treating her as a guinea pig. Instead, she was treated like a weapon. A weapon they were still making improvements on, if the experiments she still had to go through meant anything.

They teach her to fight; throwing her in pits with things that look like wolves but are actually men. When it's not those beasts, she is fighting failures that they're too tired to deal with. She wants to give in and let these fighting children live, but if she goes— so does Micah.

So, she endures it all. Not because she wants to, but because she has to. Octavia still hasn't given up on breaking free and escaping to a sweeter life with Micah by her side. Ideally, all the other children would be saved, too. Together they would be an eccentric and dysfunctional family.

Octavia knows better, but she allows herself to dream.

* * *

A few months before Octavia and Micah's eighth birthday, the brunette is introduced to a new whitecoat. He is a senior member, this much she can tell with the authority he seems to hold over everyone else, but this is the first time she has ever seen him— and she has made it a point to recognize every one of these cruel humans' faces.

She is "introduced" to him because he, quite literally, introduces himself. Never has one of the scientists spoke directly to her, as if she was anything other than a means to an end. This man had kindly helped her out of her cage when it was time for her to go to training, and smiled at her.

"Hello, my name is Jeb Batchelder."


	4. four

_iv._

**part four**_  
:-:-: _theme; _maps _by _maroon 5 :-:-:_

* * *

Octavia soon notices that Jeb is only kind to her. He isn't cruel to the other children, but he doesn't treat them like human beings like he does her. Due to this, Octavia remains cautious around him, always on her guard. He tries his best to get her to open up, but predictably, she acts like a skittish cat.

'_What does this man want with me?_' Octavia asks herself every time he is near. '_Why am I special?_'

She thinks its her wings, but there are many other children in the facility with the same attributes as her. Maybe it's because she was their first successful subject with them? Octavia wasn't sure.

Several months with the kind whitecoat, and Octavia begins to get used to his presence and niceties. She never speaks to him in anything but American sign language (something she remembered from her past life), which he doesn't understand, much to her internal amusement. Sometimes, she gets caught signing to him by the guards, and they would yell and scream.

"_We told it to stop with that shit! Who even taught it that?!"_

They had tried to zap her with their shock batons, but Jeb had stopped them. His voice was calm, but the guards looked like they were about to faint. Octavia couldn't see Jeb's face, so she often wondered what kind of expression those guards had been faced with.

"_I am lucky enough that she still can communicate at all; the other subjects have since become unresponsive. So, if you would, mind your actions before doing anything __**drastic**__."_

Even then, she didn't thank him. Only looked at him as the guards scrambled to leave the room. Jeb smiled at her anyway.

* * *

While Octavia had been training with her new wings and learning how to fight, it seemed that the whitecoats had been busy trying to perfect a new _ability _to implement in their test subjects.

Octavia found out when she was yanked out of her cage one night, roughly woken up when her head hit the cage on her way out. Micah had received the same treatment.

The twins looked around the room, expecting to see the guards pulling more children out of their cages as experiment sessions usually did, but that wasn't the case this time.

Micah and Octavia were the only test subjects.

Immediately, as the two were dragged up off of the floor, Micah's eyes went to his sister's. "O!"

_SLAP!_

"Shut up, freak." A guard is quick to shut Micah up, smacking the side of his head with his baton. Octavia's fists clench, making the guard holding her tense up.

"Let's get moving." The tense guard tersely said, pushing Octavia forward and prompting the other guard to follow.

Arriving at their destination, Micah and Octavia were separated into two different rooms, but they could still see each other through a large glass window that acted as a wall.

Octavia was strapped down to an odd looking table that had a very large freezer beneath it, and she turned her head to watch the whitecoats do the same to her twin; only his table was connected to what looked like a _fire pit_. Her heart beat furiously in her chest as she wondered if this was finally the end of their suffering.

Micah was watching her as well, already crying. He wasn't like her; he was a child in body _and _soul. He was afraid of death, and she was not. All Octavia could offer him was a small smile, even if she knew it wouldn't help at all. Micah was too lost in his mind for it to affect him; he was too frightened.

The twins were both injected with three different shots; one blue, another red, and the last one a clear fluid. Octavia flinched when the scientists began to pour water over her head, having not expected it. She refocused on her brother, and saw that he was being doused, too, but not in water.

It was gasoline.

"Micah!" She shouted, startling the whitecoats around her. Octavia began to struggle in her bonds, eyes wide and hysteric as she continued to look at her brother. He was crying, shaking his head back and forth. She couldn't hear what he was saying, but she could read his lips.

Micah was calling for his sister; he was calling for _her_.

"_Micah!_" The metal bonds _creaked_, prompting the whitecoats to move. They held her down as she struggled, snapping at them with her teeth. "I will kill you! I will kill you, scum!" Octavia growled at them, lunging forward, only to have her head slam back into the table as her neck was suddenly strapped down. She looked back at Micah, just in time to see his table drop down into the fire below it.

Octavia's screams were cut off as her table dropped into the freezer, a metal slab sliding over to seal her in.


	5. five

_v._

**part five**_  
:-:-: _theme; _maps _by _maroon 5 :-:-:_

**!WARNING! ahead is more darker themes and profanity. this will be the only warning i give going forward**

* * *

"How long are they going to keep it in there?" A guard asked, glancing over his shoulder at the door they were stationed at, a wary expression on his face.

The second guard shrugged, unaffected. "I don't know… I mean, it's dead."

"Exactly, so what's the point of keeping the corpse? It's disgusting."

"Oh, you wanna talk about disgusting? Hah! Let me tell you about this one freak I saw yesterday—" A sharp sound is heard, and the man looks confused. "I-I saw—"

"Holy _shit! _What the fuck!" The first guard jumps back, but the second man remains still, confused at his outburst.

"I-I—" Blood crawls up his throat and gurgles out his mouth. The first guard continues to yell, but the second one still doesn't quite know _why— _He looks down and sees a giant spike of ice protruding from his chest. "Oh—"

The freezer door is kicked down, crushing the impaled guard beneath it.

"Oh my _fuck_—!" The remaining guard is visibly shaking, staring at the expanding pool of blood in horror. He looks up, expecting to see a beast, a _monster_— "Y-You're a little girl—" His head snaps back, an ice spike piercing through his throat.

"Shut up."

* * *

The facility that was once bright from the fluorescent lights, was now dark and dim, save for the flashing red lights from the alarms. The blaring noise of the said alarm was enough to make Octavia's head hurt, her sensitive hearing not helping in the least. However, that wouldn't hold her back. She wasn't going to stop until she killed every last one of those whitecoats.

Octavia has no idea what happened after they trapped her in that frozen coffin, but she _does _remember the moments before then— and as she continues to tear apart everyone in her path, she _knows _that Micah would have loved her for it.

The brunette's ears twitch as a buzzing sound emits from the halls; a second later, a voice plays through the intercom. "_Do not kill the subject. I repeat, do __**not **__kill the subject. We need it __**alive**__. Subject Glacies is not to be terminated._" The message repeats itself, and soon, Octavia can hear the pounding of approaching footsteps.

Just by the sound of the heavy footfalls, Octavia can tell that the incoming group is made up of guards. The huffing she also hears, means that they're no ordinary guards either.

'_Erasers…_' Octavia grits her teeth, bracing herself for when the monsters round the corner. The strange monsters that look like wolves but are actually men. Men that _erase _everything in their path.

A chill runs through her, and she looks down to see the floor frosted over with ice. '_Whoa,_' She says, backing off of the ice slightly, watching as it continues to spread across the floor… and in the direction of the incoming Erasers.

Not a moment later, a plan has formed in her mind. She backs away as far as she can, crouching down in a darkened corner of the hallway— the red light of the blinking alarm illuminating her every other second.

The Erasers turn the corner, but she isn't afraid. If anything, she had been anticipating them. They turn their heads and see her immediately, snarling with evil grins on their faces. Before they can try and charge, however, their feet slide along the icey floor and towards the wall.

Octavia focuses with a yell, and instead of smacking into the wall— the Erasers are all impaled by the sharpened ice that is now protruding from it.

The girl doesn't even flinch or hesitate for a second; she quickly runs down the hallway in which those monsters came from. She had no idea where she was going, but she was confident that she'd know what to do when she got there.

'_Micah, my heart_, _I—_'

Octavia's thoughts and plans are abruptly put on hold, as she turns a corner, only to be met with an extensive shock. She screams, clutching her neck where the shock originated from, and falls to her knees. The shock comes again, but in her back. She moves her arm to protect the area, but it leaves her stomach open, and she is shocked there next.

Soon, she is nothing but a trembling mess on the ground— curled into a ball as she cries in agony. Jolts of electricity still run through her body and she can already feel her consciousness fading.

"_No_," Octavia croaks weakly, trying her hardest to keep her eyes open. "I will…" She sees a familiar figure approaching her, a shock baton still in his hands from when he used it on her. Black spots blocked his face from her vision, but she knew who the man was. "...I will kill you… all…"

It was Jeb Batchelder.


	6. six

_vi._

**part six**_  
:-:-: _theme; _maps _by _maroon 5 :-:-:_

* * *

Octavia can feel the familiar weight of restraints strapping her down to the operation table. She is conscious, but not fully. Her mind is foggy at moments, and clear the next. She can't make out much, other than the whitecoats surrounding her.

'_It makes sense,_' She thinks tiredly, '_I lost._'

Octavia's consciousness fades out again.

She wakes again, but the environment is completely new. The young girl isn't in her cage, or strapped down to a table. She's inside a windowless room; a cell.

Octavia attempts to quickly stand up, only for a wave of dizziness to force her back down onto her bed— if the metal slab could be called that. It's then that she notices a weight around her neck; she frantically examines it with her hands and— It's a collar.

She tries to pry it off, but is immediately met with an intense shock that leaves her on the floor with spit dripping from her mouth. It was so sudden that Octavia didn't even have the time to scream; she was only left panting, her eyes wide in shock at the random assault.

Octavia is still on the floor when the cell door swings open, revealing Jeb and several guards. He gazes at her kindly, eyes filled with pity as he kneels down in front of her. When he tries to gently brush her brown hair out of her face, Octavia spits at him. Immediately, one of the guards kick her harshly, making her curl further into herself as she coughs harshly.

"Do _not _harm her," Jeb says sternly, standing to his full height to stare the guard down. "If you can't follow _one _simple order, then I will deal with you _privately_ after this visit. Understood?"

The guard looks properly scolded, but a sneer is still on his face as he stares down at Octavia, "Yes, sir."

"Good," Jeb says before crouching back down. He rubs Octavia's back soothingly; she doesn't bother to retaliate this time, not in the mood for another beating. Regardless of Jeb's words with the guard, he's already betrayed her trust once, and that was all it took for her to put her walls back up. "I'm sorry it came to this, but what they did to you— It improved you. You're stronger than any subject we've worked on before."

'_Subject_, _he says…_' Octavia thinks snidely, '_Am I no longer a person to him anymore? Was I ever one?_'

When she doesn't respond, Jeb frowns and gently caresses the skin around her _collar_. "This is also a necessary precaution. You killed a lot of people when you… threw that tantrum."

'_Tantrum? __**Tantrum? **__Is that what they thought that was? A __**tantrum**__._' She really struggles to keep herself calm this time. Octavia wanted to strangle this man; her brother was dead —_killed_— and they called her reaction a _tantrum_?! She was sure that she was visibly shaking now.

Octavia tried to subtly channel her new "powers" but just the _thought _of ice made the collar around her neck tingle. She knew that if she actively tried to use her powers, the collar would outright shock her.

"This is what's going to happen," Jeb began to explain after her silence went on for too long, "We are going to monitor you. You'll be trained and tested to see how far these powers can go. Along with that, we'll continue your usual training." He pets her head, and leans forward to whisper in her ear, "I'm truly sorry this happened to you, my dear. There was nothing I could do to stop them, but I promise you— I'll get you out of here one day. Just play along with them for now; it's how _I_ made it this far."

With that, Jeb stood up and left. The two guards followed behind him, whispering about their theories about what Jeb had told her.

Octavia wasn't sure what to think about his parting words. Could she trust him? _Should _she trust him?

'_Does it even matter?_' Octavia stares blankly at the metal wall in front of her, '_Micah's dead. What's the point of fighting __**this**_ _anymore if he's not here? He was the reason I was fighting in the first place.' _Tears prick at the corner of her eyes and she buries her head in her arms.

"I wanted to _save _him."

Octavia doesn't remove herself from the floor. Instead, she cries into her arms until she falls asleep.

* * *

Days go by in a haze. Octavia doesn't even try to fight back anymore. Her usual training continues, but with the new routine that involves her ice manipulation ability. Jeb was a constant now, whereas before she only saw him occasionally.

Now, it was like she couldn't get rid of him.

She continues to fight the other experiments, and more often than not they are near death by the time the fight is over. A part of herself feels sick at what they're making her do, but a _huge _part —the main part— is hollow and without emotion.

The whitecoats seem pleased about that.

'_Was this what they were trying to accomplish all along? Were they going to kill Micah this whole time, just so I would break?_'

Well.

It worked.


	7. seven

_vii._

**part seven**_  
:-:-: _theme; _maps _by _maroon 5 :-:-:_

* * *

Jeb was helping her, though it wasn't something Octavia noticed at first.

His kind words and fatherly affection was helping her cope. The man would visit her every day; he'd sit with her in her cell and they would talk— or do nothing but sit in silence.

Octavia could feel her walls slowly coming down again, despite her best interests. She honestly couldn't help herself. She _craved _the love and attention he was giving her. She was desperately touch-starved and who _knew _just having someone hold your hand could make you feel so comforted?

The brunette tried to fight it, but in the end, Octavia couldn't help but allow Jeb back in.

If she didn't have Micah, she needed to have _someone_. She needed a rock; a _purpose_, and Jeb was more than happy to be that person by the looks of it.

"There are other children," Jeb told her during one of his visits. The guards that usually accompanied him were outside the cell, and the camera that monitored her couldn't pick up sound, so they were free to talk as they pleased.

"What do you mean?" Octavia had asked, confused. Because, of course there are other children. They're the only things that the whitecoats seemed to experiment on.

"I mean, that when we escape from this place— You won't be alone. There will be other children, too. We'll all be a family."

Octavia remained silent. She didn't want a family without Micah, but she still thought about the man's words. She wondered what these other children were like; were they like her? How old were they? What did the whitecoats do to them?

"Can I meet them?"

Jeb smiled, ruffling her hair, "One day. They're still being _worked _on," He says quietly with a frown. "They're not considered to be 'successful' like you yet."

Octavia can tell by his expression that he doesn't like having to describe them like that, but there isn't a simpler way to explain their situation.

She never did give those other children much thought after that. Especially if they were still being experimented on. They could all be dead by the time the day to leave came, and Octavia wasn't going to get her hopes up for nothing.

* * *

Octavia is supposed to fight against the other subjects again, or that's what she assumes when the guards lead her to the familiar training yard that's held outside of the facility. It's large—more like an arena than a small fighting pit.

She usually only comes out here to fight the Erasers; all her other matches are held inside.

So, she wonders if something is up… As there are no Erasers in the arena, waiting to pounce on her as soon as she's thrown in there.

Octavia stands on her self-proclaimed side of the field, looking around cautiously for her opponent. That's when she hears it— the door to the opponent's side finally opens and a figure that's about her height is led into the enclosure. A hood is over their head, hiding their appearance from Octavia's view. There are also shackles around their wrists, as well as a collar (that is similar to Octativa's own) around their neck.

She remains numb, watching the subject warily.

The brunette knows to close her emotions off in moments like these. Octavia is about to _break _this child, and if she doesn't— the whitecoats will do it for her, as well as punish _her _for her disobedience. Octavia had to stay in their good graces as their little soldier; it was a hefty price for her eventual freedom.

"**Subject Glacies and Subject Ignis**," A voice sounds through the speakers around the arena while the guards work on relieving the other subject of their bonds. "**We are testing your worth. Show us who the stronger weapon is— Kill or be killed.**"

There is a click as the announcement ends, and Octavia refocuses on her opponent. She steels herself all over again— It was one thing to beat someone to a pulp, but to _kill _them? A _child_? Octavia could never get used to it. Even though she always managed to look expressionless on the outside.

Finally, the guards remove themselves from the arena and it's just Octavia and Subject Ignis. They still have the hood on their head, but with trembling hands they reach up to pull it off.

"**Fight will begin in 5...4…"**

As the hood is thrown over Ignis' shoulder, Octavia falls to her knees.

"**...3...2…"**

The subject stands before her, tall and so _young_. _He _is a young boy with black hair and familiar _beautiful _brown eyes. He looks like a stranger, standing in front of her— especially with the horrid burn scars that travel from his shoulder to the other side of his wrist on both of his arms. Octavia can see his neck is also entirely covered in tender looking flesh, but somehow, his face remains blemish free.

"M-Micah…?"

"**...1… Begin."**

_Micah _didn't even flinch. As soon as he was prompted to, the young boy ran towards Octavia. There wasn't a look of relief or happiness on his face; he was not rushing towards her so that she'd pull him into an embrace.

No, Micah —her baby _brother_— was running towards her to _kill her_.

A sob escaped her throat, and even as her brother got closer, she did not move from her spot on the ground.

"M-Micah, little one— What have they _done _to you—"

"**Glacies, stand up. This is an order.**"

"I thought you were _dead_," Octavia cries, burying her head into her hands. Micah had almost reached her, and now that she could see him better— She realized that _fire _was being _held _in his hands and slowly covering the rest of his arms. It didn't seem to bother him, but Octavia felt sick at the sight of the flames.

"_**Stand up**_**, Glacies.**"

"I'm sorry," Octavia said when her brother finally stood in front of her. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you, I—" He just stared down at her, his face without an expression but she could see _something _in his eyes. It just wanted to make her cry harder, though.

He was looking at her as if she was a stranger. A terrifying stranger.

"**This is your final warning—**"

Micah swung his arm back, his gaze never leaving hers. Octavia returned his stare, not even flinching when the arm made of fire hit her like a _whip_ and threw her across the arena.

Octavia was screaming, the left side of her neck felt like it was _boiling_. The burning sensation traveled all the way down to her thigh, practically covering the whole left side of her body.

The fight was not over yet, however, and Micah was already approaching her again.

"I'm not going to fight him," Octavia said, "You can't make me kill my brother!"

He was in front of her again, already raising his arms to deal another blow—

"**That's not your brother anymore."**

Suddenly, her collar was activated, shocking her violently. The shock, added with the burn on her neck, was a pain she could not withstand. Collapsing on her uninjured side, Octavia fought to keep her eyes open, just to see Micah one more time.

The boy was unconscious on the ground in front of her; it looked like the whitecoats had also shocked him. Blearily, as her world faded to black, she wondered why.


	8. eight

_viii._

**part eight**_  
:-:-: _theme; _maps _by _maroon 5 :-:-:_

* * *

Octavia is shocked awake by her collar; an experience that isn't anything new.

She's shocked awake at five in the morning every day, and her reflexes have her quickly rolling out of bed to stand at attention— Or at least, she attempts to.

Octavia is stopped before she can even bring herself to sit up, and is forced back down on her metal cot. All at once, the pain and memories of the fight —Micah— hit her. The person holding her down seemed to anticipate her incoming panic, and quickly held her down with much more force.

"Octavia, please calm down. I don't want to have to restrain you."

Unsurprisingly, it was Jeb who was holding her down and trying to placate her.

"He was alive, and you didn't tell me! You let me believe he was dead!" The brunette continued to kick and thrash despite the immense pain her body was in. The bandages pressed tightly against her wounds and rubbed at them as she struggled against Jeb's hold.

"Octavia, please— I thought he was dead, too. I didn't know— Please calm down!"

He was lying, she just knew it. She was stupid to trust him again, despite all he had done. Jeb would always be a whitecoat; everything he did was to benefit him and his research. He never cared about her.

"You are dead," Octavia spat, baring her teeth, "I promise that one day I will kill you. Not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I will be the one to put you in a grave, dead man—"

Jeb looks at her with a pained expression, but refuses to release her. Just before she can continue to fight him, her collar activates and shocks her into submission. The man quickly lets her go in order to step back, only watching as her body shakes from the aftershocks.

"Sir, are you okay!?" The door to her cell is forced open and two guards rush into the room, their guns aimed and ready to fire. "We were alerted that her collar went off."

"I'm fine, the collar just sensed her stress and acted accordingly…" Jeb takes a breath before looking to the two men, "You're dismissed."

They nodded, giving Octavia a wary glance before leaving the cell.

"Please," Jeb says in a defeated voice. Octavia wants to scoff— as if she would fall for anymore of his tricks. "Just believe me when I say that I had nothing to do with this. I thought your brother died when they performed that experiment on him, and the fight that took place… I had been busy with those children I told you about," He smiled slightly, "The ones who I said would be your new family."

Octavia wouldn't be fooled. She had no interest in those other children; all she could think about was MIcah, and how hurt and scared he looked and just how wrong it all was. He was alive— She didn't care that he had tried to kill her. The boy was probably scared out of his mind; he didn't have a developed mind like Octavia did. He couldn't handle the thought of torture or pain. He was just trying to survive, and how could she ever hate him for that?

"I want to see him," She whispered, "I want to see my brother."

At that, once again, Jeb showed her a look of immense sorrow. Instead of meeting her eyes, the man looked down to the cemented floor and clenched his jaw. "...'Tavia—"

"Don't call me that."

"Octavia," Jeb said patiently, finally meeting her harsh gaze. "He didn't… Micah succumbed to his powers." Immediately, Octavia began to shake her head in denial. She saw him. She saw him get knocked unconscious— She saw. "He wasn't able to handle them like you did. The scientists are calling him a failure—"

"Don't call him that!"

Jeb raises his hands in surrender, "—They said his body couldn't take the changes. It was lucky he lasted for as long as he did—"

"It's been six months, and he's been alive this whole time!" Octavia yells hysterically, tears falling down her face. "He's been alive, and when I finally get him back, I lose him again— Why, why, why—" She doesn't even try to protest when Jeb wraps his arms around her.

Jeb holds the girl in his arms, murmuring words of comfort as she continues to cry. All the fight seems to leave her as she clings to him.

"Don't let this break you. It's what they want. It's probably why they kept him a secret from you— They wanted to let you grieve, only to return him to you and then take him away again. Don't let them win, 'Tavia. Darling, don't let them break you."

"Why does this keep happening?" Her voice cracks, "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this…"

"I know, child. I know."

* * *

Octavia is silent as she is forced into a form-fitting jumpsuit that has the School's emblem on it. She now has the appearance of an obedient weapon, topped off with the shock collar around her neck and the vacant expression on her face.

When the guards leave, Jeb takes their place and tries to speak soothing and comforting words into her ear.

Octavia doesn't listen. She just thinks about the burn scar on her body— About Micah. It's not healthy to dwell on depressing things like this, she is well aware. If she wants to get better, she has to try, but honestly… Octavia isn't sure what she wants anymore.

She trusts, only to get betrayed. She forgives, only to get betrayed. Will the cycle keep repeating itself?

The brunette doesn't want to experience happiness if it is fleeting. She doesn't want to feel anything at all, really. Nothing sounds just right— Octavia wants to feel nothing; she wants to be nothing.

"You are not nothing," Jeb says, and the brunette realizes she was saying everything out loud. The man is giving her a stern look— it's an expression you would see a father give his child. Which is ridiculous, Octavia wants to scoff, because Jeb isn't her father.

"You are Octavia," Jeb says with conviction. "You are the strongest girl I know, and you will survive this. I promised you that I would get you out of here— and I will. Please, just hold on until I can set things into motion."

Octavia meets his eyes, and she can see how serious he is. She wants to nod and tell him okay, but she can't do that just yet. How can she change her outlook so quickly, when she's already thoroughly convinced herself to stop trying?

So, Octavia simply blinks before looking away to stare at the concrete wall of her cell again.

Jeb sighs, hanging his head in defeat. Still, he looks back up and Octavia can feel his determined gaze burn into her skin before he says, "I won't give up on you."

He leaves, and Octavia is alone again.


	9. nine

_ix._

**part nine**_  
:-:-: _theme; _maps _by _maroon 5 :-:-:_

* * *

By the time Octavia turns nine, she feels a little less empty inside. She is still expressionless and doesn't speak unless prompted to, but she no longer feels like throwing her life away.

She picked herself up after Jeb continuously spoke to her about Micah, and how he wouldn't have wanted her to give up. Octavia wants to snip back and say that Micah was too young to understand what _giving up _entailed, but she stops herself because she knows that being raised in an environment like this… Even if they didn't understand it; the children would grow stronger in order to adapt and _survive_.

Jeb's words didn't help Octavia much, but him bringing up Micah did result in her realizing something on her own.

'_Why should I obediently listen to the people who __**killed **__Micah? Why should I allow myself to be used by the people who destroyed Micah and I's lives?_'

So, Octavia decided to play the part of the perfect weapon until Jeb decided it was time to break out. _If _he didn't decide to go back on his word, that is. Even if that were to happen, Octavia decided she would be _ready _for anything. She would plan everything ahead; from her escape to her life after that— Octavia wanted to be ready.

There was something in her plans that she forgot to consider, and that was the fact that if Jeb _didn't _fail her— then she wouldn't be alone. There would be a whole cluster of children saved from the facility, and in her plans, Octavia definitely didn't _include _several more people.

She would need a backup plan for her _backup plan_— If that wasn't being prepared, then Octavia didn't know what was.

Octavia's little misstep didn't become apparent until Jeb unknowingly shoved it in her face.

"I've managed to convince the other scientists to pair you both together. I told them that if the children took a look at _Glacies_, they would submit after realizing that becoming a weapon for the School is nothing more than an honor and a privilege." Jeb clears his throat when neither child replies, "I also said that if worse came to worst, they would be so afraid of _Glacies _that they'd submit out of fear."

A clever lie to fool the big-headed staff that worked here. It no doubt worked like a charm.

Octavia stared down at the young boy in front of her. He looked to be a few years younger than her— seven at the least. He had messy black hair that framed his face, and dark brown eyes that practically looked _black_. Another notable feature was the harsh glare on his face, which was directed completely at her.

What really intrigued her, though, were the _wings_ on his back. They were pitch black in color, seeming to gleam a dark purple when in the light.

He was like her— somewhat, anyway.

Jeb seemed to notice the boy's hostility, "Fang, this is the girl I told you and the others about. Her name is Octavia, but when the _whitecoats_ —as you called them— are around, we call her _Glacies_. That's her designation."

The brunette was quick to put the pieces together. '_Ah, this is one of the children Jeb told me about_.'

_Fang _—a name so horrendously _obvious_ that it had been picked by a child— continued to glare at her, despite Jeb's poor attempt to reassure him that Octavia wasn't a hostile.

"I know who she is," The hatred in his voice hits Octavia hard. She blinks slowly, trying to place the boy's coldness. "I hear them talk about her— all the other kids are scared of her. She's the whitecoat's _dog_." Fang practically spits the word at her, and she would have flinched if she hadn't figured out where his words were going.

"_Fang_, listen—" Jeb forces the boy to look at him and gives him a stern look, "She is no different than you. Octavia has had to endure just as much as you have. No," He frowns, "She's had to face _worse_. Don't you dare shame her for that."

Once again, Octavia is surprised by the words Jeb _preaches_. It was as if the man was a protagonist of a heartwarming tv series, and one of his only skills was delivering powerful monologues.

Fang bites the inside of his cheek, looking thoroughly abashed. He continues to frown at Octavia, but the hatred behind his eyes has certainly mellowed down. It's downgraded to something more _cautious _and wary. It's as if he's taken Jeb's words into consideration, but he's still waiting to make a final decision for himself.

Octavia is grateful the boy can think on his own, and isn't as gullible as she had once been.

* * *

From that day on, Octavia's schedule is shifted around just a bit.

Her mornings remain the same, in which she is shocked awake at exactly five in the morning. After her other essential needs are met, Octavia is sent for a check-up and then immediately sent off to train. Instead of her usual regime, she now follows one that correlates with Fang's so that they can have joint-training sessions.

Jeb is always the one to supervise them, for the sake of no one abusing them while they try to train. As inconspicuous as possible, Octavia teaches Fang everything she knows about surviving under the whitecoat's reign. She teaches him how to act when they're around, how to _appear _to be obedient to their demands. Fang tries to protest this method at first, but soon learns exactly _why _you have to pretend to be on the side of the enemy.

Sometimes you must bide your time to defeat those that are stronger than you. It was a lesson Fang needed to learn, and one that Octavia had to teach.

One day during one of their training sessions, Jeb is unexpectedly pulled away and replaced by a different scientist. Octavia sees them exchange a few words, and the man shoots her a concerned look before he leaves the room.

Her enhanced hearing picked up on enough to know that one of the higher-ups wanted to speak to Jeb about something specific. Jeb had protested, but knew if he fought too much to stay with two _specimens_, that it would raise alarm with the staff. Thus, the man was forced to leave Fang and Octavia with the whitecoat.

The parting look he gave her was enough to know that it was up to _her _to keep Fang safe. Something she _knew _she'd have to enforce sooner than later. It wouldn't be long until the whitecoat forced them to fight against each other with much more _force _and—

"_Glacies, _I want you to break the subject," The whitecoat taps at the clipboard in her hand, "I want to test it's healing rate."

Octavia stands straight, clenching her jaw.

'_So they think it's one of __**those **__training sessions, huh?_'

When Octavia looks back at Fang, the boy is glaring at her and holding his hands up defensively. He looks ready to fend off any attack she sends his way. She cocks her head to the side, raising a brow— wordlessly saying "_Do you really think I'm going to hurt you?_"

"Glacies, I said _move it_!" The whitecoat is yelling at her now, and the guards in the room are already shifting in place—just _waiting _to be given an order.

"What are you waiting for?" Fang asks in a harsh whisper. Octavia merely shakes her head, giving him a sad smile because she _knows _what's going to happen next. The boy merely looks confused and frustrated; the yelling around him beginning to stress him out. "I can handle a _fight_, so just—"

Octavia releases a choked scream before she collapses on the linoleum floor, spasming as electric shocks course through her body. Fang jumps back in both fear and surprise. He makes to go towards her, but is quickly thrown back as the guards rush forward. Fang tries to move closer in an attempt to help, but he _can't_. There is a translucent barrier surrounding him, forcing him to stand back and watch as the guards descend on Octavia.

They surround Octavia, kicking at her and degrading her with taunts. The guards only stop when the whitecoat prances forward to stand over Octavia, who is barely clinging to consciousness.

"Next time, when I tell you to do something— You do it." The whitecoat sneers, activating Octavia's collar once more.


	10. ten

_x._

**part ten**_  
:-:-: _theme; _maps _by _maroon 5 :-:-:_

* * *

Octavia's green-gray eyes blink open, and she's met with the familiar ceiling of her cell. Her whole body is sore, as it usually is after incidents like the one that happened earlier.

"You're okay," A young voice says softly— sounding as if they had been holding their breath. Slowly regaining her senses, Octavia recognizes the voice as Fang's before she turns to groggily stare at him.

"I told you she would be fine," Jeb is also there, standing next to Fang with a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder. He smiles reassuringly at them both, "Octavia is a very strong girl; I told you she'd protect you."

Fang says nothing, continuing to stare at Octavia with a furrowed brow. The brunette looks back at him, never breaking from his gaze.

Jeb sighs, sitting down at the edge of Octavia's bed, "You did good today; I'm sorry I couldn't be there to stop it. I had been called away and— I tried to protest but…" He met Octavia's eyes and gave a sad smile, "I'm sure you already know why I couldn't deny them too much."

The brunette nods, seeming to placate Jeb somewhat. Octavia finally pulls herself into a sitting position, "Why… Why are you both here?"

Fang looked away, making Jeb chuckle, "Fang wanted to make sure you were okay."

Octavia looked at Fang expectantly. The boy scrunched his face up and refused to meet her gaze as he mumbled, "I didn't know that— I thought that you were… I'm glad you're okay."

"It's fine," Octavia says immediately.

"_No_, it's _not_," Fangs protests. "I-I said all those things to you— I didn't even understand what your situation was and—"

"It's fine."

Fang glares, and opens his mouth to say something else but stops himself. With a huff, he turns to Jeb and asks him to take him back to the others. The boy gives Octavia one last meaningful look before Jeb escorts him out of the room.

When Jeb returns, he doesn't sit back down and instead stares at Octavia with a serious expression, "You mutated again." Octavia raises an eyebrow in question, "When you were attacked, it seems you summoned a _shield _over Fang. It only went away after you were knocked unconscious."

"I _created _a shield…?"

Jeb nods, "We don't know much about this new ability— So, I'm sure you know what to expect until the scientists' curiosity are sated."

Octavia nods in understanding, gazing down at her hands. She flips them over repeatedly, examining them as if she can figure out the problem herself.

"Will it ever end?" She whispers.

"It will. Just not today and maybe not tomorrow, but it _will_."

* * *

Fang and Octavia continue to train together when they can, and before they know it— another year has gone by. They are only able to train in secret, and under Jeb's supervision. After the events that led to Octavia mutating again, the scientists returned to making her train by herself so that they could perform tests, thus forcing her sessions with Fang to end.

Another thing that had changed since then, was Fang's attitude towards the brunette girl.

Before, he was rather standoffish and hostile, but now he treated Octavia with a respect that she honestly didn't know how to respond to. In her other life, she had never been much of an authority figure, so she simply decided to just act normal with the hope that she would get accustomed to Fang's new behavior soon.

It was a task that would be more complicated than she'd originally thought, because not only was Fang more respectful, but he was also more protective― not that he ever was before, at least not towards her.

Fang acted like he owed her something; as if she would want anything from the poor boy. No type of dissuading made him change his opinion, however. _Jeb _couldn't even breakthrough to him, so how would Octavia even begin to?

"How are your friends?" Octavia asks him one day after their training. They're both sitting against the wall of the "abandoned" facility they've been using to secretly spar. Jeb is getting them refreshments at the moment, leaving the children in dim light and dreary silence. Octavia tiredly slumps against the wall, leaning against Fang somewhat. The boy shivers at her cold skin ―a side effect of her ice manipulation that he has yet to get used to― but doesn't complain.

Fang leans against Octavia, too, tiredly blinking as he glumly stares at the stained wall across from them. "They're fine. As fine as they can be in this place," He frowns. "There's a new kid in our room― says he has a baby sister. We haven't met her yet, though― said she's too small for the cages."

Octavia's stomach churns at the obvious implications in Fang's words. He probably doesn't understand it himself, but to Octavia it was blatant that the School had access to a newly born child.

"That's… Did he say anything else?" The brunette asks, trying to keep her voice level.

Fang shakes his head, "No, he can't talk much anyway. Sometimes we can't even understand him. Jeb says it's because he's only two, and no one has been teaching him how to speak properly." Something sparks a smile in the dark-haired boy, and it's clear that he's recalling a happy memory. "Iggy, Max, and I are trying to help. Nudge can't even pronounce stuff correctly yet, so she isn't much help. But, it's like a competition almost―" Fang laughs a little, and Octavia is surprised to hear such a lighthearted sound come from the usually brooding boy.

"―Iggy just teaches him big words, or just things he likes." Fang continues, "Max is too serious― always thinking about words he _needs _to know."

"What about you?" Octavia asks, unconsciously smiling.

"Me?" He asks, suddenly returning to the present. His smile disappears, and his expression turns bashful. Octavia only gets a glimpse before he turns to hide his face from her, the tips of his ears turning red.

'_Such a child_,' Octavia muses with a chuckle.

"I―" Fang starts in a whisper before stopping to clear his throat, "Teach him about you― and stuff…"

"About me?" Octavia's eyes widened in surprise.

"Like your abilities, and your name. He can't say it right, though― He always says _Tovie_." The young boy refuses to look at her, and Octavia is positive his face is probably as red as a tomato now. Despite how cold her body is, it's doing nothing to combat the heat of Fang's in this current moment.

"Cute," Is all Octavia says, a small smile on her face.

Her lackluster reaction seems to fluster Fang even more, as he whips around to face her in shock. "I― Sorry for talking about you. I probably shouldn't― I should have known to keep you secret―"

"No, it's fine." Octavia interrupts, "I'm happy that you talk about me. I―" She pauses to collect her thoughts, "It makes me feel included. Like, I'm a part of you."

"Well, Jeb said we'd be a family one day." It's Fang's turn to give a straight-forward reply, "Why can't we be one now?"

In that moment, Octavia thinks of all the terrible things that could happen in the time it takes them to escape and now. She sees them all dying or suffering a fate like her brother; she sees them turning into mindless weapons like _her_― no, like she _could _have been.

She doesn't voice any of these thoughts. Instead, she just sighs and affectionately runs a hand through Fang's hair (he pouts at the gesture, and swats her away before trying to fix the damage).

"You're right," She ends up muttering, but the collar around her neck has never felt tighter.


End file.
